Peter and Alan

Peter and Alan
...added Michael ...

about us...

A gay couple in the suburbs north of Denver, beginning the parenthood journey... good thing we have a long list of resources, physical and virtual, to help us through it!

8.03.2010

open question

Last week, Michael's social worker mentioned that birth mom is considering relinquishing her parental rights, rather than struggling and waiting for the state to terminate them. Tipping the scale was the notion that she could retain some minimal contact with him... perhaps an annual photo book, at most an annual visit near his birthday.

The county doesn't do "open adoptions," per se. What do you think? It might reduce stress a great deal, and she would have no legal parental relationship...

3 comments:

  1. I'm all for it! Waiting and not knowing is very difficult. Two of our four adoptions were like that. Plus, I, myself, am all for open adoptions at whatever level you feel comfortable. I only have an open adoption with Claire's mother but I am so happy that she can see Claire grow. I think it makes her feel pleased that she made the right decision.
    Good Luck!
    Your Friend, m.

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  2. I can't see any better arrangement than Open Adoption. Questions will come when he's ready to ask them, and having a relationship with the birth mother will be the best way to answer them. It doesn't mean you're married to her or even see her on a regular basis, but you'll need to speak with her and decide on your plan. Ultimately, it's the best option for everyone involved.

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  3. We're open to the idea... this is a very young mother... she needs to let Michael have a good home and get her own life in order, but she shouldn't suffer the next 50 years wondering if her baby is alive and well and happy. But I also want to protect Michael's psyche, so if the visits freak him out, I'm not sure how to handle it. I'm glad to see that it can work well. I may ask specifics on HOW to shape it as we get closer. Thanks!

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